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Jesus deals with divorce and remarriage, but His central teaching about marriage is that "From the beginning it was not so." His point is not mainly to narrow the escape route from marriage. He commands husbands and wives to live together in a way that prevents divorce from ever arising as a possibility.
This means, especially for husbands, the simple responsibility of paying attention. Nothing is more common than for marriage to get rocky because the wife feels neglected, unloved, alone, fending for herself in a house full of children and housework.
This is a particular danger here at Trinity. Many of you young husbands are still college students, or recently were college students. Have you adopted a new pattern of life, or are you still living like a college student? You've added a new dimension to your life – wife and kids – but have you re-centered your life around your wife and family?
You need to. Ask yourself, and ask honestly. Ask your wife, and ask her to give an honest answer: Are you paying attention to her? Is your family at the center of your attention, or at the margins? If you continue the habits you have now, will your wife feel loved after 30 years?
Some marriages go bad because of a catastrophe. Many marriages, though, go bad because of a long accumulation of small, unresolved wrongs. Marriages don't need to end with an adulterous bang; they often end with a resentful whimper.
So ask yourself: If I continue your present habits, is there a marital whimper in my future?
posted by Peter J. Leithart on Sunday, September 16, 2007 at 07:56 AM
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